glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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