just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
