i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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