my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize