What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
