Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
