...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
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