Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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