PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
