I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
