One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
