My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
