Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
