Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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