Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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