What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
