I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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