I'm eating all of the evidence.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
