i would punch a child for taco bell
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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