Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
