have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
