Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
