why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
