I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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