I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
