idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
look no pants
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
