I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
