You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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