I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
