You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We had to coat check the pizza.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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