plz talk dirty to me
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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