Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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