Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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