I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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