Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.