in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
