Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm

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  (248): I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm http://tfl.nu/t2ln
  Replies (105) Good night (9145) Bad night (1300)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first

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  (401): I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first http://tfl.nu/owtg
  Replies (24) Good night (6382) Bad night (1293)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n

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  (416): He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n http://tfl.nu/pe4m
  Replies (21) Good night (12232) Bad night (1283)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list

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  (217): I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list http://tfl.nu/djej
  Replies (5) Good night (1635) Bad night (600)
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  (679): View more from Michigan

  I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.

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  (679): I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant. http://tfl.nu/n9jh
  Replies (6) Good night (1290) Bad night (704)
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  (707): View more from California

  I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.

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  (707): I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any. http://tfl.nu/bt78
  Replies (17) Good night (729) Bad night (2084)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends

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  (517): I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends http://tfl.nu/sky7
  Replies (4) Good night (1459) Bad night (482)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.

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  (603): i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck. http://tfl.nu/oxfo
  Replies (10) Good night (844) Bad night (942)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.

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  (914): I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis. http://tfl.nu/jvao
  Replies (28) Good night (4080) Bad night (755)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it

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  (401): If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it http://tfl.nu/cn0p
  Replies (3) Good night (1131) Bad night (563)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.

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  (314): I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle. http://tfl.nu/q65f
  Replies (3) Good night (497) Bad night (287)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills

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  (301): I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills http://tfl.nu/lwly
  Replies (5) Good night (317) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.

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  (646): Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini. http://tfl.nu/wt6x
  Replies (3) Good night (740) Bad night (267)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest

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  (402): Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest http://tfl.nu/bslf
  Replies (0) Good night (477) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  That is romantic

  (1-309): View more from Illinois

  Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care

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  (309): That is romantic (1-309): Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care http://tfl.nu/p5uo
  Replies (0) Good night (386) Bad night (207)

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