just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
