i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
