im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
