I love you!
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?