i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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