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• (914): View more from New York

  Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona

  Fav 24 957 3558

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• (940): View more from Texas

  You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.

  Fav 15 1461 2844

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.

  Fav 17 4827 1384

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.

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• (408): View more from California

  Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?

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• (254): View more from Texas

  I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.

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  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

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• (619): View more from California

  how did you know i stayed over last night?

  (702): View more from Nevada

  there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it

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• (478): View more from Georgia

  Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.

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