Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
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I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
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And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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