In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize