why didn't you poke me back
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize