im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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