it's not cheating when I paid for it
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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