I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
