somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
