i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
