you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
