wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
