You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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