So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
