I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
