I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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