love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
