But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
it wasn't lemon gatorade
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize
