if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
