Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize