Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
