That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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