ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
