So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize