Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
