see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
