At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Sorry about my life...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
