i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
