you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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